Life's a beach

It feels like summer, I want to go to the beach, anddd I have yet to finish my essay that I've been trying to work on for the past week. Yes, the same essay that led me to restarting up this blog. I had this sudden urge to just write something while I'm in the process of writing something else that I don't know what to wRITE ABOUT SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO WRITE PLS THX. or just write this essay for me cause its due tomorrow *cries*

I think I have a serious procrastination problem tbh. And I'm pretty sure its an actual problem. If it wasnt a problem, I'd be finishing up my essay right now.. *cries again at the thought of essay*

Ok I seriously need to go but I want to post more pictures so here are some beaches cause I miss it so much

Lunch break in An Amateur's Kitchen

For those of you who don't know, An Amateur's Kitchen is my instagram account name for my food pictures! Since I just talked about food, here are some of my favorite food pictures:

citrus fruit is the fruit of all fruits

citrus and herb baked chicken which was lovely and the recipe for this is on my cousins blog

blubbery muffins!

Chocolate chip cookies are the best cookies

Mac and (real) Cheese

Cookie butter +nutella = match made in fat kid heaven

Mini blueberry pie

Homemade cinnamon rolls are life

Cake face part 2 (TFAM #3)

So my second obsession in that fact was food.

 I love food. Aside from keeping me alive, I find it very comforting. I eat when Im happy, sad, mad, or bored. I usually eat a lot when I'm bored. Growing up, I just had a pretty big appetite and I was never told not to eat so I now have a habit of always eating. I ate a whoole lotta lemons, spoonfuls of canned frosting, chips, cake, cookies, chocolate, noodles, hot cheetos, biryani, burgers(shoutout to my homies at in-n-out), pickles, tomatoes, and pasta with lots of cheese. Or actually anything with melted cheese really. And I used to lick butter bc why not. Im super healthy now so yea (jk my inner fat kid still parties every day). All of those things are still my favorite things to eat actually..

 My mom was almost always cooking something, so I grew up around a lot of food and cooking. I became interested in watching cooking shows and going through cook books, and loved being in the kitchen as much as I could. I think the first thing I ever made was these mashed potato volcanoes and I'm not even a huge fan of mashed potatoes tbh. Or actually I think I first learned how to make rice.. I love rice.

During my sophomore year of high school, I was homeschooled. Having nothing to do all day, I decided to take on cooking, and somehow eventually made dinners for my siblings from time to time, and then even for the whole rest of my family. When I first started cooking, I wasnt the most efficient and I tended to under salt things. (its always better to under salt than to over salt tho js) I would get a bit discouraged but luckily, I never stopped. My mom always told me to continue cooking because you only learn more by experiencing more. Thankfully, that was exactly what happened. Cooking became so much easier and fun and everything tasted good and I COULD EYEBALL THE INGREDIENTS LIKE MY MOM AND RACHEL RAY :O. I was so confident about and in love with cooking that I decided I wanted to be a chef... until I realized how much work that would be. So for now, I just enjoy cooking for my family if I get the chance. 

I can smell chocolate cake for some reason (??) so I'm gonna go cause Im hungry now

P.S. cake face= bc i like cake and also people who wear too much makeup are called cake face WOW saba you are a geniusss

Peace, love, and chocolate cake,

Saba

Coffee Break in San Fran

SO I decided to post something fun today yeay
PICTURES FROM TRAVEL! WOO
I lurve traveling. The world is so full of beautiful places and people and foods.. so I shall share some of my experiences with yall! whoever is reading(who IS even reading these things pls let me know)

First up is probably my favorite city in California:
SAN FRANCISCO!

Some art palace museum thing

China town!

Flowers from the botanical gardens at Golden Gate Park

View from Lombard

I love this place

Cake face part 1 (TFAM #3)

WE'RE BACK with another edition offf- Twenty Facts about MOI because I cant stop talking about myself. lulz

this is gonna be two parts cause it is also long im sorry i just have a lot to say

Soo. This is out of order, but another fact on my post was:

I've had an obsession with makeup and food since I was really young

Ahh yes. I have indeed. One of my earliest memories is actually going through my mom's makeup and trying to put eyeliner on myself but chickening out cause I thought I was gonna poke myself in the eye. When I got a litttle bit older, I used to have my older cousin give me makeovers and sometimes I would even just go in her room and stare at all her makeup. sigh makeup is so pretty. i have like this weird magnetic attraction to makeup aisles and stores.. i cant walk by without stopping and staring at everything.  

Anyways, like I've mentioned in the previous post, because of this love for makeup, I wanted to be a makeup artist for a while. It made me feel like my life finally had a purpose or that I had a goal to reach instead of just waiting for life to happen and to get married off somewhere or something idk. I became obsessed with buying makeup, partially just for wanting to look good (more on self esteem issues later), and also because it really was fun for me and I felt creative and artistic like I always hoped to be.I used to watch makeup tutorials on youtube(back when actual makeup tutorials by people who knew how to do makeup was a thing) and try to copy along. I would practice on myself mostly, and thank God no one stopped me and my horrendous eye makeup looks because that practice only helped make me better. I guess everyone(mostly my parents) just thought it was a cute girly phase that I would grow out of, but I would always insist that it wasn't and that I would be a successful makeup artist. I would tell my mom about my plans to success and all the hard work I would put into it despite the fact that I had little money to buy more makeup as I had already spent so much on useless products for myself, but I thought I would manage somehow. I then realized that I needed some work experience and to start practicing on other people, but I would never get the opportunities to because everyone lived far away, I didn't have a car or license, or everyone I knew was busy(or maybe they just tried to avoid me idk). 

Fast forward to about two to three years ago, I decided I was gonna be super hippy/crunchy and stop using as many chemical and paraben-laden products as I could and drink kale shots every morning and eat chia seeds with every meal bc superfoods!!1!*  This sudden awakening led me to be reeally picky about what I put on my face and what future makeup products I wanted to buy. I was afraid of most of the makeup I owned so I slowly stopped wearing a lot of makeup. Also I started getting reeally lazy, and  I wanted my skin to get better and breathe for a while. Eventually, somewhere along the line last year, I completely lost my interest in makeup. I went from being so passionate about this thing, to not caring at all and then realizing that I had no hopes and dreams to work towards. Sadly, as one of my cousins said, it really was just a phase after all. There's a part of me that still wonders if I should do it, or if I can, and whether or not I would be a teenage makeup artist prodigy by now like I wanted to, if I put in the effort. Another part of me just wants to move on and hopefully find something that I can benefit people with. Guess I'll see where life takes me then, iA. 

Thanks for reading if you did,

saba

*this is a slight exaggeration. kale juice doesnt sound very appealing tbh..

phone camera quality picture of a face chart I did once.
Inspired by Slytherin

I'm secretly a mother of three kids (TFAM #2)

SURPRISE
lol jk

*THIS IS KINDA LONG BTW. if you dont like reading, at least read the last parts k
Hi, I'm back again. No one's even reading these but its ok. I'm having fun writing. Ok so the next fact on the instagrams was:
I've wanted to be a mom since I was a weee little child, and I can't really imagine myself being anything else.
For some reason I find this one kind of personal, mostly because I decided to not tell a lot of people (I guess I changed my mind if I posted it on instagram?!) because the response I got from some people would make me re-question my entire life and existence. But I really want to talk about it because I'm really passionate about this so here it goes
Growing up, I looked up to my mom A LOT. I wanted to be exactly like her. Everything she did was the right way to do things. I never used to cook my ramen noodles according to the package instructions because my mom never did, so I thought it was forbidden to read the directions lol (again, I am naive and dumb). Since my mom was a stay at home mom, I thought that that was exactly what I had to do as well. I knew that I would just get married and have kids, never giving thought at the possibility of having a job or something. According to my mom, when she would ask my what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always say, "I'm gonna be a mom." so yea. I always imagined myself being a super cool mom driving a black escalade with my two kids in the back while we all go to get some ice cream or something.
Somewhere along the line, I decided that just being a mom wasn't cool enough, because everyone's mom had a job so I decided I needed one too. That was hard though, considering I've never been interested in anything that required going to school for a long time, like being a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc. I never had interest in anything that we learned at school either. I never had too many hobbies either. Heck, aside from reading, watching TV and eating food, I dont really know what I used to do tbh. After a while, I discovered makeup and decided I wanted to be a makeup artist. I almost followed this career path for a while, but things happen and I decided it wasnt for me. I went through a couple phases in search of an actual career until I just gave up and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life anymore.
My mom ended up having my baby brother right around this time, when I was in my freshman year of high school. I loved holding my brother, putting him to sleep, watching him just stare at everything..I didn't mind changing his diapers or getting puked on, and I wanted to help out with him as much as I could. My sophomore year of high school, I was homeschooled, partially so I could help my mom with the baby(or at least thats what I told her to convince her to let me stay at home for school hehe) and even though I would complain about being trapped at home and sometimes I would get annoyed of him, I still enjoyed it. Over the past three years, I've babysat him A TON. And that's a fact, Im not even bragging :). My schedule for school has mostly been that I am at school for only two days, so that leaves me to have to spend a lot of time with the little babes. If my mom is out running errands or picking up my other brother from school, a lot of times I have to watch him. There have been many moments where I get extremely frustrated by him, whether its because I cant get him to stop crying because he just wants mom, or because he's so hyper that he's running around destroying everything(ah, the joys of boys). Through the madness of trying to feed him, get him to stop crying or throwing that dinosaur toy at me while I'm in the middle of being lazy and binge watching TV or on the social medias I would ask myself all the time if I still reeally wanted to be a mom. It's a lot of sacrifice. You have no room to keep watching your favorite TV show while the kid is sick or hungry or hurt or cranky because he just woke up from a nap riight when you got the good part of the show. Yet, I would always think, yes. Yes, I still want to be a mom. Because at the end of the day when he says "I love you" or when he runs to my room screaming "Apppiii!" and gives me a hug, it's worth it. I'm not even his mom and it's still worth it. And its also worth it bc children are extremely adorable when they talk, and babies are so so cuddly and warm and smell good and are the greatest things to happen to life (im obsessed with newborns k).
So yea, I cant imagine myself doing anything else because 1. that's all ive ever imagined myself doing 2. i love taking care of bbs 3. its hard for me to find hobbies that could be occupations that i would want to put my time and effort into (hey im lazy)
Since this is getting really long, I'll end it here and continue on in another post about moms and jobs and stuff.  but yea.
Live, laugh and love alllll the babies in your life,
Saba

My favorite subject (Twenty Facts About Me #1)

I have an essay to be writing, but since I'm the queen of procrastination, I decided to write a blogpost instead. Maybe itll help get my writing/creative juices flowing..? who even says creative juices idk ew. Anyways, a while back I posted 20 facts about me on my instagram. I really liked that for some reason and since I can't think of what to write about I decided to just elaborate on some of those facts, since a lot of them have some sort of stories or more facts behind them. SO the first one I started off with was:
I'm a second year Psychology major. Its the only subject I've ever enjoyed learning/studying.
I started college when I was 16 and I loved it. But I was young and naive. I originally thought I wanted to study Sociology, which is funny because I never really understood exactly what it was. Part of me only wanted to do it because I thought it was similar to Psychology, except a lot less people did it and I guess I wanted to be a hipster or something idk. I actually dropped out of my sociology class in the middle of the semester so I never really learned much about it.  I also happened to be taking a intro to psych class that semester and enjoyed and finished it, but still didn't think I wanted to major in it. Again, too many people did psych and I couldnt be like everyone else ya know?
Well things happen, I started hating school again, and then later FINALLY got an epiphany and admit to myself that I couldn't stand studying sociology because I didn't get it and didn't know what to do with it. I took another psychology class when I went back to school the next semester, which was Life Span Development with one of the greatest professors ever, and I fell in love with it. The more I learned in that class, the more I wanted to continue learning more (does that make sense even idk) and I realized how much I loved learning about people and how they work and all that good stuff. Psychology is so relevant and applicable, and for someone like me who needs to know the reason behind everything, it makes people make a lot more sense..
Soo yea thats it for the first one! Thanks for reading.
*Fun Fact:
When I was in 6th grade I wanted to be a counselor. I loved listening to people and their problems and giving people advice. And also bc it was a easy way for me to get in on all the drama at school ;D lol I kid!
Have a lovely day yall
Saba