Rant Diaries 1

Ok so a couple posts back, I wrote about how I've always wanted to be a mom. I wrote that I would continue about that later, so I am *finally* writing about it, no thanks to my excellent procrastination skills.  
SO. The reason why the whole being a mom thing has been such a big deal is because it really confused me about my career choice throughout my life. I never bothered to think about other possibilities because aside from not being interested in anything, I just always assumed that everything would work out the way that I wanted it to and life would be great. When I started college, everyone was always asking me the two most important questions of your entire college career: "What's your major?" and "What are you gonna do with THAT??" Being a psych major, there are a few options I have if I choose to do something within this field. Not being emotionally stable and mature enough to deal with other people's problems, I knew immediately that I couldn't be an actual psychologist. Also being quite lazy, I didn't want to do anything that required more schooling or lots of hard work. Soo that doesn't leave me with many options or answers I can give to people when they ask "What do you want to do with your life huh" setting aside the fact that you really don't know what you want to do at the age of 16-17.

For the few people that I did tell that I always just envisioned myself being a mother and not really doing anything else, people would just laugh and say "that's cute, dont worry you still have time to figure something out" as if being a mom just isnt. good. enough. Let me tell you, being a housewife and a mother (and a GOOD one) is JUST as important as anything else and required JUST as much time and effort as anything else, if not more. Who else gets up at 2:30 in the morning to put a crying baby to sleep?  It annoyed me that women who do stay at home to take care of their husbands and/or children don't get enough recognition and appreciation as they should. It's a lot of work. So what if they don't sit behind a desk, tapping away at a keyboard and instead are raising the people who could potentially make the world a better place! And honestly... why is it anyone's business WHAT SOMEONE ELSE CHOOSES TO DO WITH THEIR LIFE?! 

It reeaaally frustrates me when people make comments and share their opinions that aren't positive at all because it's discouraging, and for someone like me who tends to be a people pleaser(woops im a middle child) I feel like I have to make sure everyone that I care about at least approves of what I do. I was scared to tell people I wanted to be a makeup artist because people tend to look down on it, and people have expressed to me that I could "do better than that" as if it's not that important. Sure, you're not saving someone's life, but it makes people feel better when they think they look better. So what if I want to do something that makes me and other people happy?? Why should anyone care if its not hurting others?

I am really thankful that my parents, and especially my father, always told us we could be whatever we wanted, and if we ever wanted a job, to make sure it was something we loved. My dad always stressed this and how important it was to do something we enjoyed because work wouldn't actually feel like work. He always tells us how he could be at his job for hours because to him, it doesn't feel like work. So growing up, I never knew why everyone had opinions that made me question what I wanted to do. I enjoy cooking, makeup, taking care of other people and little babies. If I want to be around those things, why does it matter to anyone else? 

Someone pls tell me bc I really don't know and now I'm just a confused 18 year old girl who feels like she should get her life together but also doesn't want to at the same time. sigh. rant over and PEACE OUTT,
Saba